Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Say what???

Apparently February, the month of Luuuurve, they'd have us believe, is also the month to contact your old flame. Or at least, that's what happened to me. The douchebag ex who gave me the ice trays (a few of my girlfriends actually refer to him as Ice Trays because of this unfortunate incident) sent me a message on Facebook just two days before Valentine's Day.

This is not unusual in itself: I've received roughly the same message twice a year since we broke up two years ago, but this is now the third time he's sent me a "How are you?" note since I told him very politely that although I wish him no ill, I have no interest in being his friend. The two messages he sent after that were duly ignored.

What the hell??? Surely he'd have to be to be mentally imbalanced in some way not to have got the message by now? He even signed off "Chat soon xx" - er, no. We will NOT chat soon. I don't want to speak to you! Now take your douchey profile picture of you and your current girlfriend (who has a disturbingly large gap between her eyebrows, btw) and bugger off!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The thing about Valentine's Day

While I am the first to admit that I have a rather biased view towards this holiday, every year when the garish pink and red paraphernalia start appearing in the shops I pause to reflect on it, and always come up with the same result.

It's a crappy holiday. The only people who really enjoy it are the smug, obnoxious couples who rub their happiness in everyone's faces every other day of the year anyway. It's an arbitrary date that celebrates something which, if you have it, you should be celebrating it all the time (in private, of course. Nobody wants to see that stuff on Facebook). And if you don't have it, regardless of how or why, you feel like a bit of a loser.

If you've just started dating someone, it's super awkward. You have to acknowledge the day, but to what extent? One year I had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, things were pretty new but quite serious. He made me dinner at his place, so I made him a card. It was a cute cartoon guy wearing boxers with hearts on them - Mr Lovepants, his name was. My boyfriend said me he got me something, but I'd seen it before. "It's not your penis, is it?" He laughed, went to his room and returned with a familiar-looking shopping bag, which I opened to find two ice trays inside. "Ice trays?" you ask. Ice trays indeed. We had purchased them the day before, and I was under the impression that they were for his new apartment. I'm certain they were, actually, he just forgot to get me something and didn't want to say so. I should have run then and there...

I'm not bitter. I relish being single a lot of the time, but if you happen to be single on Valentine's, it's like you're defective or something. I'm not knocking the entire concept - everybody loves being in love - who doesn't aspire to that? But for some of us it's just not in our grasp yet. That's why this year I will be using the day to celebrate what I love about being just with me!

A few (of many) things that are great about being single:
  • You can do what you want, when you want, and don't have to run your plans by anyone else (or worse, have your plans vetoed by anyone else!)
  • The world is full of possibility - if you meet someone amazing, you are free to flirt with them
  • You can watch the movie/TV show you want to watch, always
  • When your friends complain about their douchebag boyfriend who is being grumpy and impossible, you can smile to yourself and think "not my problem!"
  • No fighting over the duvet - you have your king-sized bed all to yourself!
  • You don't have to shave conscientiously if you don't feel like it
  • You can focus all your attention on your own dreams and ambitions without needing to consider how they affect someone else.
Now that's something to celebrate.